she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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