it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
