I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
