Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the condom got lost in my hair
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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