I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
