Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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