well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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