I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
