Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
