i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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