If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
