dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize