How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
operation have a gay friend backfired
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
