that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
