his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
