oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
