She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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