Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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