I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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