i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
