who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
