"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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