I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
