JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
