he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
