are you so shy because you have an std?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
