So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
