Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
