so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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