he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You're a waste of cheezeits
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize