this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
