would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it because I queefed?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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