I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
