with your own penis?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize