don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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