If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
