like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
