he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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