i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
