In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
