can we get nightvision for the apartment?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
