me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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