The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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