oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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