Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
