We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
