i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Shame is for Republicans.
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