what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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