Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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