"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
