i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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