She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
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She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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