So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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