I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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