he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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