I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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