Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
