Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
