Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize