I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
