Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
