i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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