Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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